Mobile Mania

Ever heard about the most read book in this world, well before you race your mind through labyrinth of a library, the answer is THE Mighty Phone Book! And it is not just the most read but the most treasured also for quiet a few. I can count the number of times out of my few million days of life (including several rebirths) where I accidentally stepped out of the house without being mobile enabled! Not because my mathematics is limited but I cannot dare to saunter alone without my mobile. Mobile these days is a lifeline and as a standard gear, everyday before I hit the road I only check for three things the car keys, wallet and the most important my mobile. The fact is, most of the times only a mobile can take you to places alone!

Bluetooth, GPRS, PTT are just few of the ammunitions which make you feel smart like a stealth bomber  and their power can only be realized once you allow your mobile to talk to its own peers like it does for you. Then comes the soaring fixation for forwarded smses which suddenly pops you up into splits even when a dinosaur is in front of you. Festivals and national festivals feel incomplete unless you receive a critical load of forwarded messages enough to make your thumb and fingers little stronger for same time next year. We might not reply to all the messages but strangely remember who did not spent 50p for you. Somehow, the enigmatic smses on festivals prove to be more comforting than meeting few of the senders in your drawing room as you skip the extra effort to smile, to dress and then increase the calorie count with ghujias or katlis .

As North Star guides this planet, these mobile devices are a true indicator of life and habitat. If your handset shows full strength signals you can be sure that you are in the thick of human settlement around, it starts diminishing as you move away from the heart of the city. Mankind feels so secure as long as they are in the network resorts of these mobile companies and any fluctuation in the signal strength provokes the horrors of isolation and uncountable opportunities to connect. The only reason perhaps, that we collectively ignore the air hostess instructions with all the impunity even when the aircraft is negotiating with the hangover of being air borne.

Actually in a day, this little device draws a trajectory for each member in your family. As a user, you will look ten times at your handset like a nurse in a cradle if one fine day the frequency of incoming calls is measurably low; the spouses will inspect all the incoming and outgoing communications like a daily sales report and kids while playing the games will finally discover the non veg in the jokes or might also do a casting couch on papas favorite video. And if you happen to be a blue blooded blackberry boy, then parents will have all the reasons for missing your undivided attention.

Call it a tech toy, gadget guru, status symbol or fashion statement this handheld device is getting smaller in size but bigger in role. All the Canons and Nikons of the world will swear by the pin hole they live on, for the crater this compact gadget burns in their pocket every time the shutter snaps with flash, mega pixels and truck loads of memory, from this convergence device. Even in the lowest categories it has overpowered pocket FM radios and alarm clocks. In fact, the census profiling by the home ministry would be more authentic if included with the Model No of the handset .The demographic divide in India will have a more comprehensive strata as Chinese, No Nokia, Nokia, Blackebrry/Android and Tablet users .

Airport lobbies, five star lounges, railway platforms, conference rooms, office receptions would have conspired together to suggest me a name like mobile mania after accessing  the pull quotient of the device. If nothing official, face book and twitter keep you glued to your contacts and help kill time socially! No one can ever imagine the complex web we are heading with dual sim and triple sim handsets but as far as these telecom companies keep on promising the pinnacle of power and entertainment we as a common man have nothing left but to drool

Kar Lo Duniya Mutthi Main

Ab meri bari hai

Move On

Express Yourself

And my favorite “ An Idea Can Change your Life” ( Being an ex Idean myself).

And as an enticing pill 3g is on the way guys...Be aware!

Sale!!

The newspaper in spouse’s hand, in general, is the prime source of instigating this latent desire of shopping in MANkind. ‘Limited period’ nature of the offer further pushes you to participate in hordes along with fellow cityzens with similar agenda during this time of the year! The omnipresent loud printed feeds of 30% and up to 70% discount fuel your appetite to drape yourself in choicest of brands. The world seems to be an inviting mall and as mind always thinks in pictures we start visualizing ourselves akin to favorite look which sometimes the bear belly or sometimes the pocket does not allow, but the thought of a sale surely stimulates the dormant mirror affair we enjoyed in our teenage and pokes you for a re jig of your wardrobe.

Love is not the only glue between human beings but shopping IS. The magnetism is quiet evident as you fall in queue bumper to bumper at the entrance of the mall. The life size hoardings giving complex BODMAS of freebies defuse you sense of differentiation but somehow the wives I have felt have better nerves to remember and decode the formula something got to do with Mars and Venus theory I guess! Parking at this time of the year is the scarcest commodity and having done that the mind further starts seducing your credit card as you see branded shopping bags held like bouquets by your fellow cityzens.

Confusion becomes the mentor of desire and the one shop where the entire city is jostling its elbows triggers the Me Too! Needless to say you will not find exactly what you wanted but be ready to put an extra effort for a re visit on a weekday as the size and color you ever wanted is just short of one piece especially for you! Once out of this shop you head to gun down a still better brand to quench the rising levels of adrenalin. Good things attract good effort and hence you are undeterred by the long waiting queue for the trial room. By this time, the swelling crowd in the mall running berserk for shopping, glides you to the extremes of your budgets and you may think it to be too obvious to stretch as the world is running short of pure goodies(on discount)!

Shopping for that aspiring pair of jeans or spouses saree, during Sale is like a treasure hunt with no clues at all, and on the mission like a hermit you tend to pick all that you never wanted. Brands in your hands make you feel happy and the calculator in the mobile and your brain goes on a sleep mode as you know you that this season you can afford to buy more than you bought last year! After all I am a smart shopper!! To re assure the victory of brands over the affordability you take a small break in the food court and off course better brands attract better food and you settle for one step ahead of the run on the mill bite otherwise! Calories galore, you convince yourself that walking endlessly shop to shop in a mall will knock of the extra kilos.

Fresh energy in the body might result in strategic thinking of shopping in opposite directions but MEN will be men and shopping was never a game they were cut out for. However, the tired and lethargic limbs further switch off the mind and you start floating with the crowd frequently getting snubbed for failing to recommend the best pick to your spouse. After few minutes the head becomes to nod in effortless YES every time she is out o a trial room…you hide your indifference to the best of your abilities but those looks have indicated her well that its time to call it a day with only that much of booty.

On the way back, you get an assurance of getting relieved from such ordeals next time, as a manufacturing defect in all the men and I happen to be the worst of the best in this case. While we both work silently in our minds on the number of credit card swipes we end up with a resolution for not shopping so much for next few years/seasons/days….

The Sale is on!!

Where is my REMOTE ?

Where is my Remote?

Nothing controls your comforts like remote controls these days. Blame it on the increasing spate of micro chips in your house but I can bet there is still at least one remote in your house which you would have knowingly allowed to hide as you now fail to manage so many. Precisely… the problem of plenty!

Men love gadgets and this love breeds further gadgets like “remotes” which obviously empower your fingers to follow your brain but also increase your calorie count.  Initially, we can blame the idiot box to make us try this unearthly pleasure but gradually all the gadget boxes have emulated the art. A living room, perhaps measuring a few square yards is understandably supplemented by couple of these small rectangles to make you smart couch potatoes but the bizarre hits you inside your car where we pay few bucks extra for that luxury in car music systems!

Defying any chances of increasing man’s physical agility we have become silent disciples of this wireless addiction. Watching a favorite movie on a home theatre makes you feel like a roadside cobbler sitting with at least three different colored remotes, each promising to give you an uninterrupted streaming with multiplex sound effects and then your air conditioner also donates one remote, generously for the show.Anyhow, we human beings are solution seekers and in such a scenario identify one member in the family to be the gadget man for such occasions and often our children love doing this. After all, it is an empowerment which matters and also helps the cause of the co audience.

If by this time you have started counting the number of remotes in your houses I am sure you have ignored the omnipresent human remote. It is called the mobile phone and we get goose bumps to imagine a day without it. Call it bigotry, but there is no doubt that we are slaves of this disguised remote. At the same time, it has changed the thought execution speed beyond any geographical confines. World’s most read book, called the “Phonebook” has instant resolution for your untimely quest for pizzas home delivery and the sms have gradually evolved to carry emotions also.

Gentlemen, I don’t want to sound regressive but those corporate honchos enjoying push and pull mails in their handsets are the latest victims to rediscover “Apples” and “Blackberries” in their cubicles. So if I imagine the farsightedness of the great Shakespeare I think he was bingo to predict:” All the world’s a stage and men and women merely players…..”

Now, let me discover some Einstein effect to develop one remote to control everything from a drone missile to country’s GDP, as it is our government and police is remote controlling their duties, this might help them too!! But, first let me switch on the heater to combat this freezing cold and the question is “where the hell is my remote?????”

Newspaper

It lands in the flower pot on your balcony with a thud, creeps inside from under the door or waits patiently for your attention in the garden. The first guest in the house is most welcome and sets you in motion with the world.  It is also one of those things which are more prominent in their absence than their presence in mundane life. BUT, you love to own your copy everyday and feel envy if your neighbor is luckier to get his print the day your vendor goes missing.

What is more profound is the bond this inanimate thing develops with your age. I still remember in my childhood how I kept pondering about the biased and undivided attention with which my father use to scan the newspaper through his reading glasses page by page and then also carried the same to his toilet. Now I can successfully coin a newspaper theorem which says “The quantum of time spent with newspaper is directly proportional to your age”.

Beyond this, it is also blessed with an opportunity to catch you earliest in the morning, when your mind and thoughts are supple and open to all imaginations this story teller throws at you. And then there is an immense dependence which your body is used to enjoy so innocuously, everyday. I think all our senses love to flirt with it in the most explicit manner and then ardent readers can also swear about the chemical reactions it evokes in their bowels with that cup of tea which one likes to savor, smelling the pristine aroma of an unread newspaper.

Ever wondered the minuscule fraction of our daily spends we pay for this priceless affair! I think it is one of the cheapest and valuable buys today. India, as a country would have enjoyed this experiential meditation more collectively had our literacy rate been higher than the west. Never the less it is all in this newspaper only which can generate huge charity funds to help our scam torn government to spread the power of education. All of us, as an individual seek for at least one meaningful act of charity in an year where we think of doing anything beyond planning but fail to drive that plan because life keeps us occupied in ourselves.

So let us allow the idea to spring up in action. Somebody good in mathematics may please calculate the amount of money we can collect for spreading education in this country by simply collecting this newspaper once in a month from all possible households and donating it in the education relief fund of my NGO ( to be starting very soon). We can surely do away with screaming Kabadiwalas for a noble cause and my limited power of summation tells me the money collected from each society will be huge. If all goes well India will have it’s times soon and we would proudly say together “The Time Of India”

Pets and Plants

While zipping through the city streets in Delhi and NCR you are bound to run under colorful bold shop signage promising some exotic pets and plants. Nearly non existent, a few years ago our cramped lifestyle has given new breeding grounds to this business now. I do not blame the shop owners for conceiving such a business idea but sometimes wonder the buying quest of people ranging from rarest of birds, rabbits, mice, fishes and plants…and all this when most of us have left the palatial parental houses and adopted BHK concepts, same as we last remember anybody buying a horse, cow or a buffalo as pets.

Actually if one were to derrive the cost benefit analysis for this kind of purchase, the money which you spend in these shops actually seems to be an investment. In this era which is getting Hot, Flat and Crowded proximity to such a beautiful, no artificial color world ,will only get distant. Moreover, as we have lost Jurassic parks, we may also loose the garden squirrels, butterflies, deers and monkeys as they still don’t have the power of currency to buy their habitat!

In such a shrinking scenario these shops offer a slice from the pristine creativity of GOD in your own house giving you a feeling of meaningful adoption and spreading the supremacy of Spiritual Nature. I am dead against any kind of captivity but sensible and engaged ownership can actually give you new companions. Those, who keep a dog, will vouch for the communication stirred by tail, tongue and nose of the dog. Beyond that, the frequency of emotional rebirth these living souls provoke is unparallel in today’s click and mouse world. What is beyond the scope of expressing in words is the undiluted love and attention they give to the  owner. I know, the pet owners reading this para will like me to touch their personal bonding cords  with their pets  more strongly in words, but I am challenged by my typing skills.

Dressing your dog coat, cleaning your aquarium, watering your plants, treating them with best of food and variety of diets/medicines are perhaps the best stress busters you can find under your own captive resources. Enthusiasts further can join forums on net and participate in competition to strengthen the belief in their respective prowess. I, as a proud pet keeper since childhood have only helped my dogs, fishes and plants to grow, multiply and enjoy a bond which is sacred and confidentional at the same time . My next request to the government would be to allow the endangered species as pets. People only poach and smuggle the speechless. I am sure, qualified and eligible owners can do still better in their farm houses or houses what vast stretches of reserved lands have failed to provide..... Protection and Habitat in few cases off course! Tigers exempted!!

Till the time we have no resolution on this, let our next generation be close to the creatures that were part of our growing up in our grandparent's houses. Plants and Pets….adopt and don’t just buy one!!!

Password

When I heard this word for the first time in my life, in my childhood, off course, never did I realize the hidden importance and chain reaction my life was being lead to in future. It was dad’s suitcase lock which introduced us to this enigmatic world of passwords, a pure play at that time and was only used to challenge the neighbor kids and cousins.

Slowly and subtly as we grew up and technology started being second most important thing in life after matriculation and graduation, life developed early signs of attracting passwords. It was still easy to combat the increasing onslaught of the passwords a few years ago: different email accounts with chat messenger passwords wishfully created to flash the world know my cyber status.

As weapons of mass destruction disappeared in front of federal forces they conspired collectively to give mankind their manifestation in all possible forms . And the menace is growing faster than you can track them,now in your pocket books or fancy notebooks too. Today, my worst fears is not falling from the Mount Everest or airplane window but losing that small diary which is a gateway for every service I avail as a rightful owner of an exclusively. They come in different names and username combos: may be customer ID, T PIN, secret question, answer to the secret question, internet transaction PIN, credit card pin, debit card pin, dish TV ID and the list goes on…

If jotting down these alphanumeric dragons at a single place was an end solution for lifetime then one would have still trapped the bludgeoning identification numbers and passwords you require to prove a single identity but these soft WMDs dessert you if you don’t tinkle them for long, they need to be in touch with you and miss you before you miss them finally! Probably sharing the passwords with all friends might help to rescue the RECALL when needed actually and then you see the intrinsic idea of such complex existence is questionable.

As I was writting this page and took a bio break, I had to toggle hard with my laptop to make him recall the familiarity quotient which suddenly disappeared as my wife just changed the SYSTEM PASWORD!!

So that adds for an extra line of passwords wherever I can write , may be GHAJNI was also right!!

A Winter Morning in Uppal Southend

An uncanny sense prevails through my spine to see the city so quiet and lazy on a winter morning in contrast to the restlessness I see during the day. A city with no history, without a soul and only growing in vertical direction like a demon without limbs is sometimes intimidating even in daylight. Concrete, corporate chic cars, shop till you drop  malls and omni present wine shops are perhaps best ways to dot the google map in your mind for the city.

Nature is still all very kind to human atrocities. It truly ignores the MAN OCCUIPIED Land and engulfs the city in a motherly hug every morning without any disputes. The grass so wet with pearl smooth dew droplets reflecting every ray of light striking them, trees laden with moist glamour look green and groomed and small birdies shriek to their vocal best thumping their tails. The smoky fog hangs low amidst all this with sun shine peeping from behind the lofty apartments making a photographer’s delight.

While, life begins to crawl in action with elderly and not so elderly braving the mercury to stay fit, occasional school buses dash pass you to give an early dose of automotive exhausts too. Pets also love to claim their pie of open streets and presto! You will find the land locked, well groomed, apartment living obedient dogs savor the wet soil.

As the day grows slightly older the car cleaners grace your car with champi and make you realize that your own set of wheels are the only true companion in not so easily available public transport in Gurgaon.The electricity department  jolts you every morning without an electric shock, by their absence. While school buses finish their sorties its time for papas and mummas of the world to jump in the fully automatic machines of the day and greet their most common  artifacts on Gurgaon roads – the pot holes and traffic jams.

While Mother Nature rolls back and gives way to dust, commotion and cranes it loves to keep its memory short because tomorrow this part of earth will be more MAN OCCUPIED!

Welcome to Uppal Southend : Gate No. 1

Happiness

It does not start from the time I wake up in the morning but from the time I sneak in the bed, generally late, after struggling in vain through the day to find out only ONE thing “Happiness”. The face so innocent and garden fresh even in the sweet slumber beacons me to be silent like him and tranquilized like still waters.

Winters are a blessing as they make you feel cozy like a bon fire in the blanket and then a gentle touch with this sleeping angel sucks all my worries and makes me ponder on the futility of the last one hour I spend everyday on the television chasing the channels and straining my senses. Smile is perhaps the only word I know for that expression which comes on my face between two ears and my cheeks but I am sure one day I will coin a word where this feeling is connected from your heart.

No longer can I dare to stare…the cheeks like Christmas snow flakes might get ruffled, the lips like a chaste candle flame can also flutter, sleep and Shaayan seem so natural friends and cuddled with each other. Somehow, as an innate guard I choose to be the custodian of his divine serenity and choose to close my eyes with all the Happiness and Responsibility.